Thursday, October 25, 2012

Do unto others....a new twist.

When my son was having trouble listening to me or doing what I asked, I tried every kind of reward or punishment I could think of and nothing seemed to get it into his head. He is a rough and tumble sort of boy and likes (as most boys do) to harass his older sister. Finally, an idea came to me.

We are all familiar with the "golden rule" (Luke 6:31). Basically treat others the way you want to be treated. A timeless concept. I sat him down and explained this rule he had heard before, but didn't really grasp. I asked him if he wanted people to be nice to him, he had to be nice to others. However, I also added that when he was rude or disrespectful, that it told me that that was how he wanted to be treated. He got that look of "are we done so I can go play" on his face. He needed some way to make it make sense. So, for the next 2 weeks every time he poked his sister, or ignored me, I returned the action and said,"So what you are saying is you want me to do this to YOU?" At first he thought it was funny. Soon it grew old and he started thinking before he acted (as much as a 6yr old boy can). I was very pleased with the outcome. His behavior in school also improved drastically. Something actually worked!!

Remember though.....there is a twist.

Yesterday my son had an incident at school. He was on the playground and another student pinned him to the ground and started strangling him. Literally trying to choke him. My son had red marks on his neck and was very frightened. We talked to the school to get the full story. A teacher witnessed it. My son was playing with a kid on the playground and this child got mad at Gabe for not "playing right". So the kid punched him in the stomach then again in the chest. Gabe tried to defend himself, which made the child more angry. He then lunged at Gabe, put both hands around his throat and squeezed. The kid had to be pulled off of him. Emotions ran through me that don't become a lady, nor a Christian when my son came home and told his story through his tears. Mama bear was out. We are thinking of pulling him out of school. A child should not fear for his life in Kindergarten.....or ever. I was also upset that we had to pry information out of school staff and nobody notified me by phone. All I received was a 2 sentence note home that his neck had been hurt and they had iced it. Praise God my baby is ok.

When asking my son his version of the story (before we spoke to school staff) I asked if he had hit the boy or made him mad or had been harassing him. I thought surely this attack must've been provoked (staff said it was not, as did my son). Gabe cringed at the question of hitting the boy. He gave a quick "Yes, but...". My husband stopped him and asked for a yes or no. Gabe hung his head and said, "Yes, but don't you want to know why?"...... "He hit me first and the bible says to treat others the way we want to be treated."

Mmmmmm tasty foot.

In his mind he was doing what I had done to him and taught him. The kid hit him so in Gabe's mind the kid wanted to be hit back. ::Sigh:: Well at least I know he remembered the lesson.

I assured him that he is allowed to defend himself if he HAS to. But I wasn't sure what to say about his take on the Bible verse. At least not without snickering....

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Well, it has thus far been an interesting week. My son got his first bee sting at school Tuesday. He got stung on his finger and it started swelling right away. Tonight I took him into urgent care to be seen because even though he has been on Benadryl and had an ice pack and had motrin....the swelling got worse. His fingers started turning purple. So he was loaded up with steroids and sent home. My six year old is a bottomless pit already, so it should be interesting to see how the steroids affect his appetite.

Speaking of my son, I wanted to share something with you. On Sunday we had the joy of watching a new sister baptized. I held Gabe in my lap and thou he has seen it before he asked what was going on. I told him she was getting her sins washed away. He watched with great interest. After she arose from the water we all rejoiced and sang a song. The baptistery in our congregation has windows on either side so sunshine reflects on the waters throughout the day. Gabe pointed vaguely in a direction and asked, "what's that"? After trial and error and slight frustration on his part I figured out what he was pointing at. He was pointing to the reflection on the wall of the water that was still rippling slightly. I explained what it was, light, reflections, all that. He looked at it hard for a second and said, "but what are those wiggly things"? He was referring to the lines the ripples made in the reflection. I told him it was ripples in the water. He said he thought it was her sins in the water. Oh, the joy of children! I smiled and kissed him. I hugged him. I told him he could be right.

Is it any wonder we are to be as children? The pure matter-of-fact faith. The innocence. We adults complicate things so much at times. Often we need to take a step back, and simplify. I learn so much from my children. I think of how we are Gods children and how He must feel at times about the way His children act. I am by no means a perfect parent. But God is. So, we all have the perfect parent in a sense. When my kids sulk, when they don't get what the expect or when I try to convince them that XYZ will hurt them and they argue with me, I think of how I act towards God. Do I rebel and feel the need to prove Him wrong? Do I think I know best? Do I trust Him to care for me? Do I get sulky when I don't get what I expect? Do I try to reason with him or argue His ways? It all makes you go "hmmm", doesn't it?

This week I hope you take a step back and simplify. Reflect on your attitude, and make positive changes. Above all love God, and love your family.