Saturday, January 2, 2016

An open letter to right wrongs.

Dear people in my past (both distant and  recent),

          I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I let my pride get in the way. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Even if I don't know that I did, or if I was too stubborn to admit my faults. If I've done anything to taint your view of what a good Christian should be, have mercy.

          I come to you today tired of my mistakes and realizing that, I'm human, and fall short. I am a work in progress. I will be until the day I die. I will trip, and stumble. On my way down I may reach to catch myself and end up giving you a black eye.

        With my birthday quickly approaching, I reflect back on the time that has passed. I realize I've not been the best I could've been. At times, I've been deplorable.  My apologies to you for any wrongs I've committed against you. By God's grace and mercy, I've found my path.

        Pride is a great tool of Satan. It goes hand in hand with justification. Oh, the dangers of being able to justify anything and everything! Humans are experts in the area, are we not?? At times I've told myself that I shouldn't apologize because it was your fault. Or I hadn't really done anything wrong. There is also the classic, "I'll just stop talking to you and pretend it didn't happen". I can be a coward!

        I also owe apologies for, poking my nose where it didn't belong, judging, being stubborn (not in a good way), and letting you down. I've been immature and impatient. I have misjudged your motives, been cynical, and honestly been afraid to let you get close and open up to you.

         I'm trying my best to follow Gods plans for my life and realize that He really does know what he's doing and doesn't need my "help".  I apologize for being who I was. I'm changing though, and always striving to be moving in a God-ward direction. God really can take the biggest disasters and polish them up and make them beautiful and useful. I'm learning what it means to fully commit.

          So here it is, staring you in the face. I'm asking you to forgive me. I learned a couple of years back, when someone hurts us, the hurt is ours. We must choose what to do with it. We cannot sit and wait for an apology. The hurt is ours to make into something healing or something destructive. I've forgiven the ones that have hurt me. I feel convicted to extend an open apology to those I may have hurt.

           I'm placing my heart out here for you. I want to be more like my Lord everyday. I want you to see that I stumble, but also that God's grace picks me up and I move forward.


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